I murdered the dance floor call the cops
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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