dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
no more duck duck goose at the bar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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