I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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