My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize