So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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