I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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