I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
