The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
