We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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