I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
