the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have aggressive nipples.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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