honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
