Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
