whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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