i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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