8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
