hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
