Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
