This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
