Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
