I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
