You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
