The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
plz talk dirty to me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize