There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
