It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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