Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
