Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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