when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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