I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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