There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
