Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
