The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
