if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You can't just leave with hair like that
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize