It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
