sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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