So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
