SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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