Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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