Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize