I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
