shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
