plz talk dirty to me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
