If that was your dad, he is hot
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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