no. you can't hotbox the world.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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