Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize