I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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