WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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