im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
