batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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