I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
