So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
