that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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