you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
