You can't motorboat a personality
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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