she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
