And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
