Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
