I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
