I don't think brook has ever known best
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
