What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
