i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
