I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
