with your own penis?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
