You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
