Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
