A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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