So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize