After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
NoShamevember. You game?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
