i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
